Archives2010

30Dec

Along with dust the high places and cut berries from back for table, on my list of holiday chores while visiting Mom is to anchor the penguin. Mom loves penguins. There’s a wooden penguin on her coffee table wearing a custom-knitted red and green scarf. There are penguins in a snow globe, looking small, frozen Continue Reading

Posted by in HUMOR, Followed with 0 Comment

09Dec

TO BUDDY: Sooooo, how was last night? TO GIRLFRIEND: I miss you too. TO BUDDY: A screamer huh? LMAO! TO GIRLFRIEND: I wish we could just hole up in a cabin somewhere, just the two of us. TO BUDDY: Dude I haven’t met a chick yet who doesn’t like a good spanking!! TO GIRLFRIEND: My Continue Reading

Posted by in Instant Mess, Followed with 0 Comment

30Nov

ME: So did you two get groped going through airport security? WIFE: No, but you know those scanners are pretty revealing. They can reveal the size of someone’s breasts or penis! DAD: When I went through the agent said, “Sir, your penis seems to be smaller.” And I said, “Sir, I’m 81, retired and downsizing.”Continue Reading

Posted by in Dadisms, Followed with 0 Comment

20Nov

DEAD TWIN: Psst! MELINDA: Yikes! Your face–please tell me your dead! TWIN: Yeah, but my face always looked this way. MELINDA: Bummer. Looks like you collided with a rusty cattle grate. TWIN: Thanks a lot. Look, I need you to tell my killer that he got the wrong man. MELINDA: With a face like that Continue Reading

Posted by in Ghost Antagonizerer, Followed with 0 Comment

26Oct

Welcome Clintessa, Your hygiene, grades and neutral, loose fitting clothing are having a negative effect on your friends and family. They’re afraid if you don’t change, they will have to discontinue their relationship with you. Mr. Bapquerst, do you want to start? Dear Clintessa, Though I accused your mother of whoring, those tests prove you Continue Reading

Posted by in Banter, HUMOR, Followed with 0 Comment

21Oct

SIS: How’s your tortellini, Mom? MOM: Oh my, it’s soooo good. It’s stuffed with terracotta cheese. SIS: Ouch.Continue Reading

Posted by in Janeglish, Followed with 0 Comment

11Oct

A thought from Dad Nutrinos, a subatomic particle. Every second of every day your body is passed through by 6,000 billion and you didn’t even know that. They are produced by our star, the sun. Nutrinos are like love, you can’t see, measure, weigh, buy, save. One difference. You can feel love.Continue Reading

Posted by in Dadisms, Followed with 0 Comment

26Sep

  OLDER LADY: Thanks for coming!   MELINDA: Sure. It’s on my way home. So who you trying to reach?   DEAD DOG: Woof!   MELINDA: Shoo! Get outa here, mutt.   DEAD DOG: Woof! Woof!   OLDER LADY: You see a dog? Lil Beaver! Is that you?   MELINDA: Excuse me?!   OLDER LADY: Continue Reading

Posted by in Ghost Antagonizerer, Followed with 0 Comment

02Sep

To Buddy: OMG. So, last night. Crap…hang on. Client online. To Client: Hi Don. Yes, I’m here. How can I help you? To Buddy: I swear, this client is so annoying. Smelly and annoying. Anyway, I got pulled over last night! Shit, hang on. To Client: The 18-month projections? To Buddy: So this officer is Continue Reading

Posted by in HUMOR, Instant Mess, Followed with 0 Comment

21Aug

MOM: So I went to Big Slots yesterday and I got the cutest table. It was only $14.99. SIS: That’s terriffic! MOM: Yeah. I’m going to put it outside under the tree, next to the corn. SIS: Sounds great. MOM: I think you should get one for your deck upstairs. SIS: Oh we’re good, Mom. Continue Reading

Posted by in Janeglish, Followed with 0 Comment